To start us off tonight, Mr McMahon decides to celebrate beating Shawn Michaels and God, by taking the night off. So he declares The Spirit Squad to be general managers for the evening. They decide to give one of their number (Kenny) a title shot against John Cena, and a cheerleader-themed Diva battle royal.
Diva Battle Royal.
Victoria looks less than chuffed to be dressed so. Mickie James looks a lot happier about it. Haha, she does the boohoo face after the footage of Trish dislocating her shoulder. She should be someone's manager, I love how she has behaved thus far, they need to get more out of her. Trish trips Mickie up to cause her to lose. Yep, give them each a tag team I say. Sucky match, but hey, could have told you that at the start. Wanted to draw you in a little before I hit you with the bad news.
Spirit Squad (three of the others bar Kenny) vs Eugene, Golddust and Snitsky
Oh boy. I'll predict this sucks before we start. Did we ever find out what Eugene's drug problem was properly? Hopefully he has had proper treatment and support to get over it. It didn't suck though! Eugene wrestles most of the match, Spirit Squad win with a Jonny-go-round spinning kick to his head.
Matt Stryker beats Eugene up with a dictionary during an interview. Hey, I laughed.
Rob Conway vs Kane (Shawn Michaels as ref, wearing a May 19th t-shirt as enforced by the Spirit Squad).
Why Spirit Squad, with your sucky match choice, you really spoil me! May 19th is the date that sends Kane mad. Mainly because the promoters of his film didn't realise the Da Vinci code film was released the same day. And now Kane is mad. Not as mad as me mind. Rob Conway mocks Shawn, Shawn checks him for foreign objects, low blows him, and dresses Rob in the shirt instead. Shawn is a frigging genius, I tells you.
I do like Shawn playing the slight chicken, and hiding out of the way as Kane destroys him. Even providing a trash can "accidently" to Kane. Kane wins with no offence against him whatsoever. Shock, horror. Shawn makes the whole match though, hilarious throughout.
Umaga vs some guy
Quick ugly squash. Bored before I started typing.
Vince is rubbing Candices breasts. Great. HHH interrupts. He looks like shit, that is one hell of a cut from last night. HHH agrees to be the ref for the Cena championship match.
Edge introduced by Lita for his interview segment, the Cutting Edge, with Mick Foley. I love his entrance, always matching arrogantly out of the smoke. Looks great. Foley seems to have brought the A-interview with him. We get the highlight of the Wrestlemania spear into a burning table. Great move there. Foley calls for a hardcore rematch with Edge right here, in Columbus, Ohio. Edge chickens out for this week. They seem to be teasing a barbed wire match, but I will believe that when I see it.
Chris Masters challenges anyone to take on the Masterlock challenge, RVD answers the call. Shelton runs in and takes advantage to beat him up, Carlito in for the save with a chair. Mickey of the Spirit Squad interrupts to set up the obvious tag team match. Joey Styles is called to see them during a long rest hold in the match. Some brutal kicks from Shelton and RVD in this, ends up with Charlie Haas taking a chair off Shelton, giving Carlito the opportunity to roll up for the win.
The Spirit Squad accuse Joey Styles of having no spirit, and that if he doesn't call the match properly, he will have to appear on Raw in a cheerleaders outfit. Wooooooooooooo. I hope this is leading to him quitting to go to ECW. If not, I will be spitting feathers. Joey comes back, has an argument with the gloating Jerry Lawler, and ends up on his arse. He stomps off in a fury.
After the break, Lawler apologises, and asks Joey back out. Joey RIPS ON WWE. ON SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT! I'm going to cheer a bit here. YAYAYAYAYAYYAYAAY! Anyways, Joey tells it how it is. How it worked in ECW, why it sucks here. "I am sick of our own chairman"."I am sick of sports entertainment, and most of all, I am sick of you fans who buy into this crap"."I quit". Go Joey! Now why does Joey Styles (whom I think is wonderful) get to "leave" with this sort of dignity, and JR, who left because of a potentially fatal illness, got treated like pondscum? Go figure!
John Cena vs Kenny of Spirit Squad
Cena dominates the first couple of minutes, gets Kenny up for the FU, then HHH as ref punches him in the face. Cena gets beaten up by the rest of the Spirit Squad, but when he is thrown in for the easy pin, HHH counts slow. And starts to act up as the bad ref against Kenny. Kenny ends up frustrated and pushes HHH. Bad move, gets a thump, and HHH is going to take everyone on. HHH throws off the shirt and walks away. Spirit Squad attack Cena viciously, and then Michaels walks out ready to ref. HHH and Michaels have the longest staredown. Michaels stops a count, then superkicks Kenny. Cena and Shawn clean house. Kenny back in for the FU and Cena wins.
I think this week wasn't a great show, but I think it sets some interesting stuff up. I think this is the start of the ECW storyline, sets up a potential return for JR, and starts to ask more questions as to what might happen with Michaels and HHH. DX anyone?
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